Choosing a Child-Free Life: Jakob's Journey to Sterilization

Jakob knew from his teenage years that he didn't want children. At 26, he underwent sterilization—a decision he has never regretted. "I can list many things I don't like about having children," he says.

Jakob Patring, a 36-year-old from Sala, has been sterilized for ten years, a story he shared with Sala Allehanda. The decision developed gradually from his teenage years.

"I had no desire to care for children. Nothing appealed to me. I also wanted to end the conversation. Many said I would regret not having children, that I just needed to get older or find the right person," he explains.

The longing for children never came.

"I've never regretted the decision. There's no biological clock ticking, nothing," he says.

Keeping the Decision Quiet

In February 2015, Jakob went to Danderyd Hospital for sterilization. He hadn't told anyone about his plan.

A week before the operation, he had an interview with the surgeon, who wanted to ensure Jakob was certain.

"He said that once he cut the vas deferens, there was only a two percent chance of restoring them. The operation was very simple and painless, more straightforward than an ingrown toenail," Jakob recalls.

After the operation, he celebrated with champagne and informed family and friends.

"There were no big reactions. They said congratulations, and life went on. My mom cried a little, but mostly because she was afraid I would regret it," he says.

"A Lifestyle Choice"

Jakob views the choice to have children or not as a lifestyle decision, similar to preferring city life over small towns.

"I want peace and quiet. I want to sleep in on my days off. I can list many things I don't like about children. Fundamentally, it's a lifestyle choice."

Can't you see a child and think, "How cute, I want one too"?

"No, no, no, no, no, it's impossible. If I see a child hurt and crying, I'll help, of course. I'm not cruel, but I have no desire for children. I can't look at children and think this is for me," he says.

"Selfish to Have Children"

Today, birth rates are declining in many parts of the world, including Sweden. The government has launched an investigation to explore the reasons and propose measures to encourage more people to have children.

The media has debated whether the reluctance to have children is due to prevailing individualism, economics, the housing market, or fear of the challenges of parenthood.

Jakob Patring believes some perspectives are lost in the debate and argues that having children is equally selfish.

"It becomes a form of selfishness no matter what. Society needs more taxpayers, but the child didn't ask to be born; it's your wish."

He also believes the choice to have children is surrounded by romantic notions.

"Forming a family is very romanticized. It's seen as life becoming complete when you have a child, like being in a movie. But one should ask if they have the finances or capacity to care for a child," he says.