Johan Floderus: Surviving Captivity and Finding New Purpose

Just two weeks in solitary confinement is often described as torture. Johan Floderus endured it for several months. Now, he shares his struggle for survival and the dark thoughts of offering to spy for Iran.

– I was completely broken.

Johan Floderus was arrested at an airport in Iran during a private trip in 2022, falsely accused of espionage and conspiring with Israel and global corruption. The prosecutor demanded the death penalty. It took two years and two months before Floderus was finally released through a high-profile prisoner exchange with Iran on June 15, 2024.

Many have questioned how an EU diplomat could choose to travel to a country governed by a regime where people live under oppression and risk execution for their political views and sexual orientation. But in the spring of 2022, when Floderus traveled to Iran to visit a friend, he saw no danger in going there, he says.

– One must remember that it is a vast nation with much culture, history, world heritage, and tourism. There was also no travel advisory at that time.

Considered Becoming an Iranian Spy

His time in the cell was marked by despair, anxiety, and hopelessness. Within the first week, his thoughts turned dark.

– I was in a cold cell around the clock, having not built any inner strength at that point, I was completely broken.

Johan began to consider his options. At one point, he even contemplated suicide.

– I can't stay here another hour. Should I take my own life? No, that would make everyone sad. Do I have it in me? No, I don't think so.

The time, loneliness, and isolation felt unbearable. How could he persuade them to release him? An idea, which he is ashamed of today, began to form in his mind. As an EU diplomat, could he spy for Iran?

– It was something I thought in my darkest moments. It was before I had any contact with the outside world, hadn't met any ambassador. I thought that when I finally get home, I would contact Säpo and get a secret identity for me and my family, and it would somehow resolve.

One day, an interrogator came to meet him. The thought arose again, he would tell them he could spy for Iran. But just before he could utter the words, he heard that he might be released soon. That didn't happen. But Floderus says those words saved him from taking that step.

– It was an out-of-body experience, the feeling I got from those words felt like a divine intervention, a miracle.

Held in Solitary Confinement

For a total of eight months, Floderus was held in a solitary cell, a place where just two weeks is often described as torture. Yet, despite this, Floderus managed to turn the darkness into something positive. He began creating routines, exercising, meditating, and reflecting on his life.

– After spending time on the floor in anxiety and pondering all day, I realized I lacked the ability to feel gratitude, humility, and patience. I thought that if I could become a person who feels and embraces these emotions over time, I would become someone who wouldn't be broken by this.

He found different ways to entertain his thoughts. Despite lacking paper and pen, he managed to write entire scripts in his head.

– I wrote eight scripts, one for each month. They were film ideas, stories, and even a musical.

After two years and two months, the day finally came when Floderus was released, on June 15, 2024. The first thing he did when he got off the plane was propose to his boyfriend.

– It was pure euphoria and ecstasy. It was the day I had been waiting for over two years. It was completely surreal to finally see my family and, of course, my then-boyfriend and now husband, Jonathan, coming towards me.

Removed Social Media

In total, he was imprisoned for 790 days. Now he is releasing the book "Hostage in Iran," written together with journalist Sara Recabarren.

He says that his time in captivity has made him reevaluate what is important in life.

– Previously, I was very career-oriented, both in work and socially. I wanted to get to know certain people, attend various types of events, and so on. I think that feeling of performing and competing in life, I've left behind.

Among the first things he did when he came home was to remove social media, stop drinking alcohol, and consume fewer news.

– I've already lost two years of my life. I don't want to lose more time. I've thought a lot about what is important in life. Sitting and looking at interiors, vacation photos, reading news on Instagram. It's not something I want to spend several hours a day doing. Preferably not a single minute.

Now Johan describes the past year as the happiest of his life.

– I've come home, reunited with my family, paddled kayaks, skied cross-country, eaten waffles, pancakes, and swum in the sea. And I've gotten married.